Jump right in and don’t think. Invest in yourself, no matter the cost. Turn your vibe on high. Think positive and the law of the Universe will give you more positive. Be Kind. Live It Up. These are the things I’ve been preaching for awhile to anyone who will listen, and saying to myself over and over. During the past five, years I’ve been working on myself in lots of ways; I feel I’ve mastered the physical part but the mental and spiritual side of things continue to take work. This work is hard, fun and has become a daily practice.
Mid-summer (yes, just a couple months ago!), I signed up and committed myself to a nine-month Awake & Rise Program lead by Deb Frischmon and Becca Grabinski. They are two of my spiritual teachers and healer friends to whom I look up to with great enthusiasm. I’ve had the pleasure to work with these ladies on a few other occasions while becoming friends with both of them. This Awake & Rise opportunity had my name wrote all over it! Even thought I didn’t know exactly what it was!
This past weekend, we (me and the other participants) kicked off the start to the program with Deb and Becca. I packed my bags and headed to a three-day retreat in Waverly, MN. While preparing for the retreat I actually wasn’t excited at all. It seemed like a lot of work to leave my family and I thought I have total FOMO from missing my crew. On the weekends, we have a ton of fun and spend our time relaxing, laughing and enjoying life. To give that up – even for one weekend – made me feel sad. But I committed, and I don’t back out when I say I am going to do something. This is that “never break a commitment to yourself mentality” that will get you places! Try it.
Like I said, I packed up and hit the road. Typically, I drive myself everywhere in case I need to run for the hills, but I decided to release control and hitch a ride with my pal, Stephanie. As we arrived, I still was feeling a little unsure of how shit would go down. I could feel myself judging others, my walls were up, and I was just feeling kind of annoyed or something. As the group gathered for workshop number one, we had to introduce ourselves and say why we were there. This is when the tears started! Remember, I’ve been crying for two months straight so let’s keep them coming, I guess!
I didn’t realize I would cry or how sad I was, but as I opened up to the group, I felt an intense weight lift off my shoulders. These women were so supportive and tearing up with me. It felt good, like really fucking good. I just spilled whatever came out of my mouth; I don’t even know what I all said. Half the room at this time was filled with strangers and the other half have probably never seen me cry. Well, except Deb, as I cry at these things every time! I am pretty positive that I am a “stuffer” – I hide my true emotions with a smile, a little sadness and then move on. Bury the stuff under a rug! But that rug gets pulled back in situations like this and here come the tears!
Aha Moment 1: I should probably LEARN to FEEL EMOTIONS as they come instead of stuffing them.
There are many reasons I was crying. Under my “rug” were stuffed emotions including missing my late Grandma, grieving the loss of a baby and being a judgy motherfucker sometimes!
As we wrapped up the group introductions, I immediately knew this was exactly where I was supposed to be this weekend and I was having fun. We moved on to vision boards, one of my favorite things; I loved this activity! Here’s my board! Watch me manifest great things over the next nine months!
Things then closed down for the night. I was bunking with Stephanie Braunwarth, though we’ve never had a sleepover or actually spent more than five straight hours together. I was a little anxious over this but knew we’d have fun. Marcus’ first question when I got home was, “So did you shower with Steph?!” No, we didn’t, but we did laugh a ton and barely sleep. This lady might sleep less than me on average. She was always pumping her boobs… oh the milk life!! I seriously love her more after this weekend!
Saturday morning came quick. I didn’t sleep because I was buzzing with excitement. We gathered at 7 a.m. for “Yoga.” Let me tell you, this was way more than just yoga. It was called Swatantra Sadhana, don’t even ask me how to say that or what it means besides fucking cool. As we started, I was thinking “WTF on repeat.” But I trust Deb so I rolled with it. Before long she had me activating my Kundalini, spinning my Chakras, Oming, Chanting, nostril breathing and so much more. My body was loving it! Besides feeling hungry AF after I was flying high, I knew I wanted to keep this party going!
We continued the day with workshops. Here are my other “Aha Moments” for the weekend:
Aha 2: If everything was all happiness, you wouldn’t grow. (This is awesome, embrace all the shitty times!!) Be thankful for cold days, because then we appreciate warm day. Be thankful for sickness because then, wow, we appreciate health! There is so much to be thankful for!
Aha 3: Your soul (intuition) speaks very different than your human self (Ego). (Kind of deep, I will explain later).
Aha 4: I should enjoy “human stuff” guilt free – food, sex, chocolate, wine (I added that) because you don’t get those things once you become a soul. (Super deep right?!)
Aha 5: I have weak boundaries. (Things to work on.)
Aha 6: Fuck You to Thank You. *This was my second favorite thing I heard.
Aha 7: Triggers are mirrors reflecting something back to you. I have a lot of triggers. Good thing they gave me a rant journal. *Your triggers will teach you things about yourself. (Do you want to know some of my triggers? Comment if you do!)
Aha 8: Abundance surrounds me. Be grateful daily. Listen to your intuition.
Aha 9: All the magic happens when you stay in the moment. *Be fucking present Megan! (This needs to be tattooed on my eyelids!) Are you living in the moment? Comment!
Aha 10: A penny is the same as a million dollars because money is just energy with an emotion tied to it. I’m fucking rich bitch! (A huge goal for me to work on during this program!)
I headed home on Sunday with an abundance of gratitude for the weekend. I learned so much. I broke down walls, I made new friends, I cried A LOT, I lost weights off my shoulders and figured out things. I grew as a human and now my heart is more open, and I’d like to compare myself to a slightly cracked pistachio. Yes, I said pistachio – as in the type of cashew nut. Are you a closed pistachio, slightly cracked or wide-open nut? This was a question they asked us! My new tribe is lit and who needs sleep when life is this fun. I am extremely excited about my journey. I got home feeling cool as a cucumber and fired up for the next nine months! Investing in myself and working on me feels really good! Should I continue to share my journey? Comment!
P.S. I ordered a few books after the retreat “>The Energy Codes, By: Dr. Sue Morter (The 7-Step System to Awaken Your Spirit, Heal Your Body and Live Your Best Life) & Journey into Now: Clear Guidance on the Path of Spiritual Awakening By: Leorard Jacobs. Both recommended by Deb. Excited to read!