I can’t tell you the last time I said “Oh My God” and then was absolutely speechless. I always have something to say. It must have been quite the reaction because Marcus doesn’t often grab his phone to capture a moment, but this “Oh My God” called for a documented photo. I just looked at him and had no reaction. He smiled, looked at me with those big brown eyes and I could tell our minds were both going in circles. From no reaction to tears – lots of tears – to an all-out cry, a pissed-off Megan, and then to some glimpses of excitement to more tears and then a night of no sleep. Maybe a few nights of no sleep. I couldn’t say anything; I just had thoughts and lots of them. ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ kept playing over and over again in my head. Why me? How? OMG!
I called my mom and, by the tone of my voice, she knew something was wrong. I told her and she said, “Megan, you are lying.” “No, I’m not fucking lying” came flying out of my mouth. “We will be right home,” she said.” They pulled into their driveway and my tears kept flowing. Marcus smiled and then jokes started to come out of his mouth. He can make me laugh but, at the moment, this was no laughing matter. I was literally feeling ALL THE FEELS! Do you even know what ALL THE FEELS actually feels like? I bet you don’t because until this moment, this saying was a myth to me.
After a month of covering it up, the cat slipped out of the bag over Bloody Mary’s a few weeks ago. I thought I was sneaky ordering a virgin bloody but then the waitress set it down in front of everyone and proudly said “Here’s your virgin Bloody Mary.” (I wanted to punch her.) Our friends looked at us in aww, because just the day before I was faking “birdie shots” of Fireball while golfing and ordering cocktails (Marcus was drinking them of course). I looked at them and said “Yep, pregnant!” Round two here we go. Lips sealed, I told them, because our doctor appointment isn’t until Monday.
Monday, July 29, 2019 was a HUGE turning point in my life! The ultrasound tech said, “Do you see what I see?” Me:“TWINS!” “OH MY GOD!!” Her: “Yep, there are definitely two babies in there.”
‘You are fucking kidding me’ is exactly where my mind went. Two? I could definitely see two but HOW did this happen? This is the moment Marcus started seeing double, and he just smiled. I was silent and then came the tears. That’s when the Midwife told me in that they don’t see “Twin Moms.” OMG – I’m going to be a Twin Mom. WTF! To be honest, this was devastating news at that moment. Just more than a year ago, I had Ruby with an all-natural water birth until two seconds before she popped out. Her delivery was easy and done in less than 12 hours, with only two hours of pushing. That’s exactly what I was planning in my head for round two. Well, not anymore – and this is when the tears really started to flow. Marcus was all comfort, jokes – ‘Mini Van for Christmas’type shit while I started to feel depressed. Twins had never EVER crossed my mind. We secretly made fun of families with multiples. “Those poor people,” we used to say. OMG, I am now joining them. I am going to be one of those mom’s with two of everything. Poor me. Let the Megan pity party begin.
Two days of depression and Marcus said to me, “I’m concerned for your mental health. We need to think positive. Let’s think about all the good that comes from this!” Here are a few of Tevi’s comments: “It’s going to be a party nonstop” (You love parties); “We can now get out of everything”; “Double Trouble” ; “Do you see two of everything now, like two cords, two hangers, two lights?” “Have you seen Parent Trap? It’s about twins.”; “I’ll buy you a minivan for Christmas.”; “Let’s move West!”; “We need a new house with four bedrooms, minimum.”; “Should we sell SIU?”; “Do you want to be a stay-at home-mom?”
The conversation has been intense, funny and life changing. I’m in shock! I still can’t believe it. It’s been a foggy week. I know nothing about twins. The only twins I know are the Ying Yang twins: “Get Low,” exactly where my mood was for a few days. I called a friend who was also expecting twins and she had the same feelings. This made me feel better. I read some blogs wrote by twin moms and it seemed that my reaction is pretty common. This gave me some relief.
As the days move on, past the initial shock, I’ve started making peace with the road ahead. I’ve started researching twin pregnancies, Instagramming the #Twin hashtags, and have slowly been telling friends and family. So far, my “double” pregnancy has been fine, though my energy is definitely much lower and food is just making me gag. I’ve been working to focus on all the positives and thinking about how good wine in March will taste!
Because so much of my life is changing, both personal and professionally, I’ve decided I just had to get this news off my chest. I am an open book, so trying to cover this up any longer is nearly impossible. I can’t hide the fact that my world is now completely different and things are changing!! Though it is early in this journey, we are extremely hopeful for a healthy pregnancy and delivery. Our expected due date is March 20, but if you know anything about twins (which I don’t) they usually come early!
Over the past week I’ve had nothing but love, support and encouragement from my family and friends. They’ve given me so much hope and have made me realize how blessed I am!! OMG – twins! How cool is that? In time, I know I am going to love this more than anything. It’s going to be WILD AF and a whole new way of LIVING IT UP. #tevifampartyof5
